Here It Is! Looks Kind of Like a Andrew Dice Clay VHS tape.

Sorry guys. I have been out of town.  Here is a rundown of what is not posted.

09/15/2008

Monday’s Artie Tidbits:

- Talk about Norm Macdonald’s comments about Artie on the Adam Corolla show. (6:30ish) Howard said (supposedly jokingly) that Norm was the biggest enabler on the planet. Artie said that he feels both Norm and Howard care very much for Artie like a family member and said it hurts for him to hear them criticizing each other.

- A former dallas cowboy cheerleader wants to be Artie’s assistant.

- Game: Guess who slept with Artie. They brought in a 3 women so the studio can guess which had slept with Artie. (7:40 am). See the picture below. Denise, Girl number 3, slept with Artie and nobody could guess it. Artie and Denise dated for a couple months. At one point they ran down to planned parenthood because the condom came off inside of her during sex.

09/16/2008

Tuesday’s Artie Tidbits:

- Artie is beginning to like dogs now. Is this part of his therapy and resolving Dana issues? The past two days Artie has mentioned he likes Howard’s dog. Robin said he has been petting her boat driver’s dog.

- Artie denied being upset with Perez Hilton over the picture Perez put on his website with a heart around Artie’s crotch.

- Artie claims he has never cried during outpatient therapy.

- Howard was wondering where his $1,000 that Artie owed him from the Levy fight.

- NIck DiPaolo was in studio today and said Artie asked for Ambien in Afgahnistan which Nick obliged and also gave him some valium too. Artie said he was jonesing a bit since he had recently fallen off the wagon.

- Artie’s previous assistant, Hillary, left to pursue other things and now two hot chicks are in the running to fill the position.

09/17/2008

Which may not be a surprise for some, Artie revealed this morning that he has been back on Heroin for the last few months.  He started the Stern shows first hour and a half with a very sad account of what went on last week and why he missed the Bob Sagat Roast scheduled to air on Comedy Central later this week.  We all hope he can battle his latest demons and he gets all the help and support he needs.  Of course with out hesitation Sal and Richard unveiled there parody song based on Amy Whinehouse Rehab song, Artie’s going back to Rehab.  I will post it shortly so you can have a listen.  Here is a good recall of how the addiction began again from Save Baby Gorilla.

About 7 weeks ago Artie started hanging out with the old crowd, playing as an alternate in a pool league.  As Artie explains his background in billiards, we learn of yet another unheard tale of young Artie. Turns out, Artie was some kind of small time con man hustling a “room full of shitheads…complete losers” [students] in games of 9-ball like New Jersey Fats or something.

So Artie returned to the pool hall, skipped his subutex and started drinking. At the end of the night Artie was really drunk entering the “danger-zone”. He runs into some guy that offers Artie some heroin and Artie buys a couple of $40 bags. Fast forward to next morning Artie woke up the next day almost suicidal feeling guilty. He continues to party for a few days at home with lady H and three days before going to Afghanistan he forces himself to stop. He starts taking subutex again and returns to a quasi normal routine.

8 hours after returning from Afghanistan, happy from a successful USO tour, Artie rewards himself with more heroin. Enter the much talked about homecoming party at house where he previously claimed he was in the shower instead of entertaining guests. Artie wasn’t in the shower but was upstairs with some friends doing heroin.

This was posted below recently on SFN by Reverend Bob Levy’s wife Crissy and Mutt:

Artie Shows Cancelled This Weekend (post #1)
Bob wanted me to let you all know that due to certain circumstances Artie has cancelled his shows this weekend in case anyone made plans to attend.

Friday at Levy’s Comedy Club and Saturday at Foxwoods Casino in CT.

Thank you for your understanding.

———————-

NOTE FROM MUTT - I know we all want to know what’s going on with Artie but Chrissy said all that she can. leave it at that. if there was more she could say, I’m sure she would have. I know many SFNers were planning on hitting the Foxwoods show this weekend and it was very nice of her to come here and let us know about the cancellations. thanks

Here’s what we know so far
- Artie missed the Springsteen Show w/ Tim & Gary
- Artie missed the Saget Roast in LA
- Artie missed his book writing meeting
- Teddy said he didn’t know but maybe he’s sick
- Greg Fitzimmons said on his show, Artie really is sick
- the book guy didn’t know anything
- Levy’s wife Chrissy let us know that Artie upcoming gig’s at Levy’s & at the Foxwoods have been canceled. I spoke to bob and confirmed it. SFNer’s have confirmed the Levy’s cancellation and refund info by calling the club. The owner of Levy’s club was on the H100 News confirming the cancelation at Levy’s. Evidently Foxwoods doesn’t know yet but there’s no need to question it.
- Chrissy lets us know that Artie’s sister & mom are OK.
- Chrissy also said that she expects this story to hit the papers so we can assume it’s a pretty big deal.
- I spoke to Levy and he said that he’s talked to Artie and asked Bob to spread the word about the cancellations.
- The H100 News says that we’ll hear from Artie Monday about what’s going on with him. They didn’t specify if he;’d be in studio or not.

Hopefully this quashes some rumors. I for one am just happy to know that people know where Artie is and he’s alive. With Artie it’s easy to assume the worst may have happened. The Stern Show will be live Monday 8-11. no word as to whether Artie will be there or not.

The Stern world has been a buzz since the weekend do to everyone’s fat friend canceling gigs all over town. This worries me. He always had no problem calling in sick for the Stern Show but he never cancels gigs especially a roast for Bob Saget; the guy that gave him his 1st major movie roll in Dirty Work. If anyone has any tips or sightings please contact us. Fat Camp? Rehab? Overdosing because of Dana?